The Story of Luci Furz

In my first week of school my teacher was continually astounded by my abundant knowledge. Not only was I able to read, write, and do math better than her but I also wasn't even surprised by my own abilities. Didn't all the other 5 year olds have the same talents? I was a bit confused. So my teacher, just like every woman ever since that I have outsmarted, tried to get rid of me quickly.

Since it wasn't really acceptable to put me in M.I.T where I belonged she put me in the library. Really I didn't mind. It was quiet and peaceful in there. All the things I didn't know were soon assimilated into my little head. The librarians just left me alone; I think maybe I scared them a bit. The other kids wouldn't talk to me either since that time I showed them the insides of the squirrel I found on the way to school. So there I spent my time. Gathering my knowledge on every subject I could find and dreaming of far away lands full of adventure.

One day, around my 10th year, I was having lunch by myself in the reference section when I found a book that I had never seen before. I thought it must have been transferred from another school because I knew every page in my sanctuary inside and out. It was dusty and written in a language that I didn't know. I was intrigued. I flipped through its pages and started to try and sound out the language. "I will have this figured out by the end of the week!" I assured myself. When suddenly there was mist and cloud of smoke and when I raised my head there stood Alex Trebec! He was my hero! I watched Jeopardy every night. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to make my appearance. I had planned on funding my trip to the Seven Wonders of the World with my winnings. I stuttered "Alex, what are you doing here?" and he replied "Luci, I have been waiting for a special girl like you, I need your help!" Of course, I would have done anything for my hero and quickly said "Anything!" It was then that he revealed his plan.

He had only been on Jeopardy because he was looking for the smartest girl in the world. The book had been a test and I had passed (as usual) with flying colors. He didn't want to wait until I was old enough to be on TV. He wanted me to start early. He offered me unlimited knowledge, every book in the world at my disposal. I was to travel around the world gathering my knowledge and "borrowing" certain artifacts from certain religious sites. It was what I had dreamed of for so long. To know more and perhaps meet some people that would understand and appreciate me. There was only one catch. I had to trade him my soul. But even at the tender age of ten I knew that a soul wasn't really of use to me if I was to spend my days alone in a library. The choice was easy. So on that day I went home. Petted my dog goodbye. Packed my tiny suitcase and headed out. I wandered the corners of the Earth for years. I delivered precious gifts to my dearest Alex.

Then one day, I was bringing him a very special present from my latest adventure in Palestine and he introduced me to five women. He said, "Luci I always knew that you really longed for someone who understood you, so I have a gift for you to thank you for all of the hard work you have done for me. These are your sisters and they need your help. Please come home for a little while and lend them your knowledge and skills." They looked like fun and they were the first women who hadn't hated me within a minute in years. So I grabbed my bag and as I hopped into Lucky's hotrod and Priss started to fix my hair I knew that my loneliness would be no more.