DESCRIPTION: The royal offspring of a goat and a lamb. She has a sweet tooth and a sharp bite. The Satan's Cheerleaders newest recruit.

SHE TURNED TO THE DARK SIDE: On television.

SOLD HER SOUL: Out of spite for the nuns.

SPECIAL REWARD: Scalding hot lactation. Superior shin-kicker.

MEASUREMENTS: Double latte, two lady fingers, double latte.

HEIGHT: Towers over midgets.

BLOOD TYPE: A little frothy with a kick of pepper please.

DRINK: Pink lemonade with a milk chaser.

OCCUPATION: Satan's Cheerleader's web mistress.

SEXIEST MONSTER: Nick Cave

SIGNATURE COLOR: Pinkandblack.

PASSIONS: Lambs, goats, huge petticoats, bullet bras, cakes, Burlesque, naughty nuns, brothels, candle wax and cable modems.

LOATHINGS: "Shabby Chic," John Tesh, celibacy, bad coffee, Business Casual, cherubs, "Lactose-free," Church nurseries and smelly kids who beg for change while $500 of jewelry rests in their faces.

FAMOUS QUOTE: "Charles is not in charge."

EPITAPH: "Squirted milk for Satan."