STATS

Description:  a petite pyromaniac and cunning con artist who loves to lie, cheat, and steal.  She’s as cute as a Kewpie doll, but anyone who plays with her is bound to get burned.  Fire in the hole!

She turned to the dark side:  out in the west Texas town of El Paso.

Sold her soul:  in a seller’s market.

Special reward:  pyrokinesis and immunity to pain.

Measurements: perky-teeny-sumptuous. 

Height:  tall enough to ride the Ferris Wheel.

Blood type:  boiling.

Drink:  Molotov cocktail.

Occupation:  material acquisitions and dishonest endeavors. 

Sexiest monster:   Penn Jillett.   

Signature color:  flamejob.

Passions:  scars, hoaxes, Coleman fuel, tattooed freaks, pickled punks and medical oddities, alliteration, weasel minions, tricking the polygraph machine, vegetarian barbeque and Cherries Jubilee, riding roller coasters without the safety bar.

Loathings:  anger management, John Edward, sodium pentothal, fire extinguishers, lazy-eyed men named Jim, flame-retardant fabric, Pentecostals, rubes with empty wallets.

PATRON DEMON:  Xaphan.

Famous Quote:  “You can’t fool all of the people all of the time ... but I sure as hell can!”

Epitaph:  “Burn, baby, burn!”