• You Must:
  -Possess Serious Booty.
  -Be Available Often and Have a (Somewhat) Flexible Schedule.
  -Have Natural Rhythm.
  -Be Inherently Evil.
  -Have Reliable Transportation.
  -Be Willing to Engage in Public Relations.
  -Have a Buoyant Offstage Persona.
  -Be Willing to Participate in Non-show Activities (Costuming, Merchandising, etc.).
  -Be a Resident of the Austin area.
• -Be a Dork... A Cute Dork.

• You Can Not Be a Satan's Cheerleader If:
  -You are a Diva or a Snob.
  -You have active Drug or Alcohol Problems.
  -You have a Short Attention Span.
  -You want to Make Lots of Money Performing.
  -You are Currently Dancing at a Strip Club or plan to dance at one.
  -You have Plans to Move or Travel (for extended periods of time) in the near future.
• -Your Boyfriend Likes/Dislikes us too much.

• If you think you belong on the squad, here's the application. Deadline for applications is January 15, 2004.
  

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